Tumor Termination Orders Are In!

So today I had a meeting with the General and the news was pretty good. To sum things up, I am heading to Winnipeg in October for Achmed’s execution… it will be a date that I am sure will cause me reflection on life for a long time to come.

I don’t know if any of you know Dr. Tony Batten, but if you do I would imagine that your assessment of his personality will probably concur with mine… that man is so cool that I am sure he pisses ice cubes! I mean cool in an absolutely laid back and relaxed way, not in a Fonzy way. I am not sure what type of personality I expected from a brain surgeon but I am guessing that it is probably a good thing that he is not a high-strung individual.

To sum up the events of today, Achmed is definitely benign and is an Acoustic Neroma, and as the General said, "If you are going to have a brain tumor, this is the best one to pick." Because of the size of Achmed and the age of the patient (that’s me) the marines are going to get me up to Winnipeg ASAP, which amounts to about six weeks. Achmed has seen some growth, from 2.5 cm to 2.6 cm in a three month period. That doesn’t sound like very much, a millimetre is about the thickness of a dime, but when you figure that this tumor normally grows at that rate in a twelve month period, it sounds a little aggressive to me. That could explain all of the headaches and jaw pain of the past month or so. I am no math expert, but to put that in layman’s terms, that rate of growth would be similar to an average size man gaining a pound a week for a year… imagine putting on an extra FIFTY pounds between two Christmases!

I get to spend a week in Winnipeg getting the Gamma Knife Radio-surgery, then I get to come home for all of my follow-up… an MRI at 3 months, 6 months and 12 months, then every year for the rest of my life. Actually, the General said for at least for ten years and then chuckled. I asked him,”So will you know for sure it has stopped growing by then?” He said, “Well… we will see…” and changed the subject. I go the impression that because this is generally considered an ‘old-person’s tumor’ that not a lot of patients have a life expectancy beyond ten years anyway.

The long term effects, after the gamma knife side-effects are worn off, “Possibly could be” continued loss of hearing and eventual loss of balance. That is not really a solid comfort to me, however the alternative is to either not treat it and eventually it will cause these things anyway and kill me, or to go through the skull-cracking surgery and definitely get these side effects right away. It seems like a no-brainer (pardon the pun)… I have always been one to delay problems as long as I can anyway.

On the bright side, unless I have a seizure, I won’t be losing my license; within a week of being back home, I should be able to resume my life and just limit how far I push myself based on how I am feeling; and a year from D-Day (once the side effects of the gamma knife have completely worn off) I may be able to get a hearing aid to help with the hearing loss on my right side.

I was actually planning on buying a new guitar for myself when this was all over, an Epiphone Dot Studio with a worn cherry finish, kind of as a welcome to your new life gift to myself, but I am thinking that this cash may be better spent on a hearing aid and possibly a vacation on a beach somewhere to finally relax. I will still have 40 years left to buy that guitar anyway:)

So now that the General has confirmed my diagnosis and planned the attack, tomorrow I start the boat-load of paperwork to get things moving.

I would like to thank everyone who has called, e-mailed and texted me their good wishes over the past few days, I am sure that every bit of positive thinking has helped.

From Achmed and Me… Live Life!