Achmed is Still Waiting...

I have been in a lot of strange and stressful situations over the span of my life but one thing that the majority of them have had in common is that there was something I could do about it. I can’t remember a time when I have felt more helpless than I have over the past several months... I don’t think I have ever been completely at the mercy of outside influences before.

That being said, I do my best to stay positive and patient, but everyone has their limits. I try to live my life as normally as I can under the circumstances although it seems that my summer of checking off things on my bucket list has been anything but normal. If I wasn’t going to the gym all the time doing balance and core strengthening exercises, I would probably be writing a will by now instead of a blog!

The past few nights I have slept like a baby (an expression that I never really understood, as so many babies don’t sleep well or regularly). I have recently changed my bedtime reading back to the kind of books I have always loved to read... entertainment autobiographies, and I think that has something to do with getting rest again. Over the past year or so I have been into reading a lot of books about spirituality, higher self and of course, business. The problem is that the majority of my reading time comes when I am hitting the rack for the night and all of these books have been making me think. Add a racing mind to a roaring head, and you have a restless night!

Currently I am reading Slash’s book, “Excessive- just because you don’t believe it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen”. That man had a wild life before Gun ‘n’ Roses got going and once he had the money to really do what he wanted... well, you should read the book. Anyway, my point is that I know that I am never going to live a life like Slash or Johnny Cash or Ray Charles, so their books are an escape from reality for me, and I think until I get the nuclear blast over with, I am going to stick to books at night that put me to sleep rather than keep me up.

So even though I have slept well for three nights in a row (a record since I first saw the doctor in April) I am still hanging out there in limbo waiting to hear when I am leaving on a jet plane. At least I don’t feel constantly tired and the headaches have not been too bad either lately. The jaw pain comes and goes, it seems to be mostly at night when it flares up and of course my hearing still fluctuates and makes me feel like I am in a Charlie Brown cartoon half the time. I was starting to think that my facial numbness had gone away, but when I actually think about it, it seems that I am just getting used to it and it isn’t on my mind all the time anymore.

Maybe part of the whole healing process with brain tumors, or any other ailment, is just putting it out of your mind and moving on as if all is normal. I know that is not always possible, but I am getting used to it.

From Achmed and Me... Live Life!